I will miss the smell of puke...

This week has been a vacation week for me. I am in between semesters at school and I have 14 days off to spend with the monkey. It has been so sweet having special time to focus on just him. On days like these, he and I hang out in our Pj's until after lunch usually. This results in us both being in serious need of a bath by lunchtime! He spits and spits and spits all of the time. I refuse to change my shirt over and over again. What's the use? I have enough laundry without adding 3 or 4 spit upon shirts a day :) As I look towards next week I am full of mixed emotions. I am excited about starting clinicals and getting back into the "nursing" frame of mind but I am also dreading leaving Jacob again. I mean look at him- he's so darn cute! I will miss the smell of puke...(who says that?!?).

I have been really searching my heart the past few weeks. Searching for what God would have me to do in life. I feel like the circumstances of my life are how they should be for the most part. Nursing school and Jacob were two "it's in your hands Lord" prayers that were answered for me. I have come to the conclusion that whatever I am in life- a mother, a nurse, a wife, a church member- that I need to strive to be the absolute best one I can be. I thank God for the opportunity to go to nursing school, I thank Him for a beautiful healthy son, and I thank Him for a husband who has been so supportive. I am truly blessed. I have spent a couple of years looking at how things used to be. The past few years were very tumultuous for me and yet I find myself mourning for those times. A song I love puts it this way "I've been painting pictures of Egypt but leaving out what it lacked. The future feels so hard but I don't want to go back. Because the places that used to fit me cannot hold the things I've learned. Those roads were closed off to me while my back was turned". I have an unhealthy fear of the future. It's so beyond my control in so many ways and my personality just doesn't give into that easily. I'm thankful for a patient God that corrects me gently and guides me through the uncertainty. This time in my life is an exciting adventure. Lord, help me to embrace each moment and live for you.

P.S. I made a 94 on my first Skills test--woo hoo!