When are you getting up???

So this past week has been a total disaster. I got home from Saturday clinical (where I let my patient die I might add- no worries it was a simulation! LOL) to find Kevin with a sore throat. Now anyone who knows him knows that it's just a matter of time before he crashes once that darn throat is sore. By Sunday afternoon he was feverish and it was all downhill from there. He kept a fever of anywhere from 10o to 102 until Wednesday evening. He was zonked completely and lived on the couch. Poor thing! The fever literally wiped him out. Meanwhile, Jacob starts coughing and sneezing and gets so congested that he can barely drink his bottles. Kevin was too sick to be around Jacob so the little man clung to me and felt so rough he didn't want me to put him down. Also, I am in nursing school and that tends to require you to attend class and take exams, neither of which was I able to do. I just prayed I wouldn't catch whatever they had and powered through as best I could. Sunday night Jacob nor Kevin (which equals "nor Keri") slept. Monday I had to miss both of my classes and stayed home with the guys. I called my mother in law to come and stay for an hour or so to give me time to run to Kroger and get essentials and formula and some more meds for the coughing twins. I got a call, oh about, every 5 to 10 minutes from Kevin wondering when was I going to be home because Jacob decided to have a total meltdown in my absence. Now, only having an hour to drive to town and do all that I needed to do was already pushing it but you factor in the interruption of a phone call every 5 minutes and I was about to lose my mind! By Tuesday morning I was pretty sure they were both dying (according to how pitiful they acted) so I made Kevin an appt w/ Dr Robinson to make sure he didn't have the flu and took Jacob Tuesday afternoon to make sure he was okay and didn't have an ear infection. Thankfully, no flu, no ear infection but a sinus infection. All week has been nursing the sick and trying to get Kevin everything he needs while keeping Jacob satisfied and settled down. These are the times that I really feel useful and I love taking care of my family but man it was exhausting. School didn't stop just because I wasn't there. I found myself sitting up till very late trying to complete assignments by the deadlines and then finally laying down only to get right back up with Jacob crying. Things finally got better by Thursday. Kevin was still coughing and dealing with sinus drainage but the fever was gone. We left Jacob with Kevin's mom Thursday so I could catch up on school stuff. I was/am so behind. While I was working on my assignments Thursday I developed a little tickle in my throat (GREAT). By yesterday morning my throat was super sore and I had a cough. Last night I was struggling not to just crash I was feeling so rough. I told Kevin I wasn't feeling too great and he said "me either can you bring me some Tylenol and some water and the rest of my cough medicine please." Sure I can, dear, right after I die from coughing and exhaustion, resurrect myself, and get myself some Tylenol...Ugh. Which brings me to this morning- Jacob slept till 8am (Hooray!) and I got some much needed sleep. Kevin got up at 8 and started feeding Jacob his bottle (Hooray!). I laid in the bed and ached and coughed and just soaked up my pillow and how nice and cool it felt on my tired face. Then at 8:15 I hear "Keri...When are you getting up? Have you fixed any coffee? What's for breakfast? Man I still feel kinda rough..."

cough...cough...
-K

ahhh...

today I am reflecting on a past time...a time when I wasn't fat, my feet didn't hurt and swell, my house was clean, my car was semi-clean (okay okay my car was never clean), dinner was cooked and eaten before 8pm, dishes were in stacks that didn't stand taller than I, sleep only happened in my bed and not in my car or class or church or any given time that I am breathing, a time when i didn't feel like shooting people in the face simply because I forgot my travel mug of coffee when rushing out the door to Carrollton, a time before my laundry became what seems to be an actual living creature that multiplies constantly and follows me to every room in my house (I swear it has eyes)...

Deep breath (inhale, exhale)

Thank you Lord for this day and every opportunity. May I approach every situation with an attitude that is pleasing to you.

Alright, moving on.

I will miss the smell of puke...

This week has been a vacation week for me. I am in between semesters at school and I have 14 days off to spend with the monkey. It has been so sweet having special time to focus on just him. On days like these, he and I hang out in our Pj's until after lunch usually. This results in us both being in serious need of a bath by lunchtime! He spits and spits and spits all of the time. I refuse to change my shirt over and over again. What's the use? I have enough laundry without adding 3 or 4 spit upon shirts a day :) As I look towards next week I am full of mixed emotions. I am excited about starting clinicals and getting back into the "nursing" frame of mind but I am also dreading leaving Jacob again. I mean look at him- he's so darn cute! I will miss the smell of puke...(who says that?!?).

I have been really searching my heart the past few weeks. Searching for what God would have me to do in life. I feel like the circumstances of my life are how they should be for the most part. Nursing school and Jacob were two "it's in your hands Lord" prayers that were answered for me. I have come to the conclusion that whatever I am in life- a mother, a nurse, a wife, a church member- that I need to strive to be the absolute best one I can be. I thank God for the opportunity to go to nursing school, I thank Him for a beautiful healthy son, and I thank Him for a husband who has been so supportive. I am truly blessed. I have spent a couple of years looking at how things used to be. The past few years were very tumultuous for me and yet I find myself mourning for those times. A song I love puts it this way "I've been painting pictures of Egypt but leaving out what it lacked. The future feels so hard but I don't want to go back. Because the places that used to fit me cannot hold the things I've learned. Those roads were closed off to me while my back was turned". I have an unhealthy fear of the future. It's so beyond my control in so many ways and my personality just doesn't give into that easily. I'm thankful for a patient God that corrects me gently and guides me through the uncertainty. This time in my life is an exciting adventure. Lord, help me to embrace each moment and live for you.

P.S. I made a 94 on my first Skills test--woo hoo!